Calm needn’t be the focus

We often think that financial peace or calm is the ultimate goal when it comes to managing our money. We hear phrases like “financial peace of mind” or “calming the storm of debt” and we think, “Yes, that’s what I want. I just want everything to be calm.”

And while there’s nothing wrong with seeking calm, it’s not the point. 

The real goal? Connection.

Connection with our money, our values, our goals—and yes, with the people who matter to us. Because, in truth, calm is temporary. Life isn’t static, and neither is our financial journey. There will always be waves: market shifts, unexpected expenses, changes in personal circumstances. 

Calm comes and goes, but connection remains.

This idea of connection is vital, especially when we consider how we feel, behave, and talk about money. If calm is all we seek, we might be misaligning our aim. 

Here’s why connection is the deeper goal:

  1. Feelings: Money and our emotions are intertwined

Think of how we feel about money on a daily basis. Sometimes, it’s fear. Sometimes, it’s joy. Other times, it’s anxiety or excitement. While financial calm might help to manage our emotional highs and lows, connection asks a different question: What are these feelings really telling me?

Feeling connected to your money means understanding the emotions behind your financial decisions. When you buy something, what are you really purchasing? When you save, in what are you truly investing? Are you securing safety, or are you postponing a dream? 

Emotions like fear, joy, and even guilt are signals about our deeper relationship with money. If we can get curious about them, instead of just calming them down, we get closer to understanding what really drives us. Connection to our feelings helps us make better, more aligned financial decisions.

  1. Behaviors: Money habits reflect who we are

Our behaviour with money often reflects more than just a desire for financial calm. It’s about the story we tell ourselves about who we are, and how we move through the world. 

When we aim to be connected to our money, rather than just keeping it stable, we are asking deeper questions like: What do I really want from my life? 

This level of introspection guides not just the saving and spending decisions but also how we plan for the future, give to others, and invest in experiences.

It’s less about doing what will “calm” you and more about doing what will “connect” you to your purpose, your values, and the people in your life.

  1. Conversations: More than just calming money talk

Many of us avoid talking about money because it disrupts the calm in our relationships. But avoidance often leads to disconnection. Instead, we need to have connected conversations about money, not just ones aimed at preserving peace.

Talking about money with a spouse, partner, or even a trusted advisor shouldn’t be about avoiding discomfort. It should be about connecting around shared goals, being honest about fears, and working together to build a financial future that makes sense for everyone involved.

Real conversations about money build trust, transparency, and deeper bonds, even if they’re uncomfortable at first. They help us stay connected with each other, rather than just trying to calm things down and sweep money worries under the rug.

Calm is not the point. Sure, we all want moments of financial peace. But in a world where things are constantly changing, aiming for calm might be a short-term win. Long-term success lies in connection—being connected to what matters most when it comes to money: your values, your emotions, your goals, and your relationships.

When you stop focusing solely on keeping the financial waters still and start working on staying connected, you’ll find that even when the waves come, you’re anchored to something deeper. And that’s where real financial resilience comes from—not from the calm, but from the strength of the connections you’ve built.

So, the next time you think about your financial life, remember: connection is the point, and it will carry you through even when the calm is nowhere to be found.

Spending with intention

In her thought-provoking book “The Year of Less,” Cait Flanders shares a powerful insight: “Every time you make a purchase, you’re voting with your dollar for the kind of world you want to live in.” This simple yet profound statement invites us to reconsider our relationship with consumption and its impact on our financial well-being.

Mindful consumption isn’t just about spending less; it’s about spending with intention. It’s about understanding that each purchase we make is a choice that shapes not only our personal finances but also the world around us. When we buy something, we’re not just exchanging money for goods or services; we’re making a statement about what we value and what kind of future we want to create.

Consider your last few purchases. Were they driven by genuine need or desire? Did they align with your values and long-term goals? Or were they impulse buys, motivated by fleeting emotions or external pressures? By pausing to reflect on these questions, we begin to unravel the complex web of motivations behind our spending habits.

Often, we find ourselves buying things to fill emotional voids, impress others, or simply because clever marketing has convinced us we need them. But when we step back and examine these motivations, we often unveil that many of our purchases don’t truly align with what matters most to us. They may provide a momentary thrill, but they rarely contribute to lasting happiness or financial security.

Embracing mindful consumption means becoming more aware of these patterns and making conscious choices to break them. It means taking a moment before each purchase to ask ourselves: Does this align with my values? Will it contribute to the kind of life and world I want to create? Is this the best use of my financial resources?

This shift in perspective can be transformative. When we start viewing our purchases as “votes” for the future we want, we become more discerning consumers. We might choose to support local businesses over large corporations, opt for eco-friendly products, or invest in experiences that enrich our lives rather than accumulate more stuff.

Moreover, mindful consumption often leads to improved financial health. By focusing our spending on what truly matters to us, we naturally cut back on unnecessary expenses. This frees up resources for saving, investing, and pursuing our long-term financial goals. It’s not about deprivation; it’s about aligning our spending with our values and priorities.

Cait Flanders’ year-long shopping ban, which she documents in her book, is an extreme example of mindful consumption. While most of us may not choose to go that far, her experience offers valuable lessons. She found that by stepping back from mindless consumption, she gained clarity about what truly mattered to her. She discovered that many of her previous purchases were driven by habit or emotional needs rather than genuine desire or necessity.

As we navigate our own financial journeys, we can take inspiration from Flanders’ experience. We can start small, perhaps by implementing a 24-hour rule before making non-essential purchases, or by keeping a spending journal to track not just what we buy, but why we buy it. These simple practices can help us become more aware of our consumption habits and make more intentional choices.

Remember, every dollar you spend is a vote for the kind of world you want to live in. By embracing mindful consumption, you’re not just improving your financial health; you’re also contributing to a more conscious, sustainable economy. You’re creating a life that’s rich not in possessions, but in meaning and purpose.

A missing link between money and happiness

What if you found out that your current financial plan might be working against you, not for you? That despite all your careful budgeting and saving, you’re missing a crucial element that could make or break your financial well-being? 

It might be time to talk about values-based financial planning – the missing link between your money and your happiness.

Life is a precious gift, and it’s too short to spend our time and resources on things that don’t truly matter to us. As Michelle Obama wisely said, “I have learned that as long as I hold fast to my beliefs and values – and follow my own moral compass – then the only expectations I need to live up to are my own.” This philosophy applies just as much to our financial lives as it does to our personal ones.

When making financial decisions, we often ask ourselves practical questions like “Can I afford this?” or “Will this be a good investment?” While these are important considerations, there’s a more fundamental question we should be asking first: “Does this align with my values?”

Values-based financial planning is about creating a financial strategy that not only helps you reach your monetary goals but also supports and enhances the life you want to live. It’s about ensuring that every dollar you earn, spend, save, or invest, is in harmony with what matters most to you.

So, how do we put this into practice? Here are a few steps to get you started:

  1. Identify Your Core Values: 

Take some time to reflect on what truly matters to you. Is it family, community, personal growth, environmental sustainability, or something else? There are no right or wrong answers – your values are uniquely yours.

  1. Align Your Financial Goals with Your Values: 

Once you’ve identified your core values, look at your financial goals through this lens. Does your current financial plan support these values? If not, what changes can you make?

  1. Make Values-Based Decisions: 

When faced with financial choices, big or small, ask yourself, “Which of my values does this align with?” If the answer is none, it might be time to reconsider.

  1. Create a Values-Based Budget: 

Allocate your resources in a way that reflects your priorities. If family is a core value, perhaps you’ll allocate more for family vacations or education funds. If environmental sustainability is important to you, you might budget for energy-efficient home improvements or choose eco-friendly investment options.

  1. Invest with Purpose: 

Look for investment opportunities that align with your values. This could mean choosing socially responsible investment funds or supporting businesses that share your principles.

Remember, the goal isn’t to restrict your choices, but to free yourself to say “heck, yeah!” to the things that truly matter to you. By aligning your finances with your values, you’re not just managing money – you’re crafting a life that feels authentic and fulfilling.

Values-based financial planning isn’t always easy. It may require some tough choices and trade-offs. But the reward is a financial life that feels meaningful and purposeful, rather than just a series of transactions and accumulations.

In the end, financial planning isn’t only about reaching a certain number in your bank account. It’s about creating a life that reflects who you are and what you stand for. When your financial decisions are in harmony with your values, you’re not just building wealth – you’re building a life rich in purpose and satisfaction.

So, the next time you’re faced with a financial decision, big or small, take a moment to consult your inner compass. Ask yourself not just “Can I afford this?” but “Does this fit with who I am and who I want to be?” Your values are your most reliable guide to a truly wealthy life – in all senses of the word.

The gap between our income and ego

Is money linked to our ego? It’s a question that invites us to reflect on the deeper motivations behind our financial decisions. Morgan Housel, in his thought-provoking way, suggests that “savings is the gap between your income and your ego.” 

This statement can be confronting, especially because it challenges us to consider the extent to which our financial behaviours are driven by a desire to maintain or enhance our sense of self-worth. While Housel’s observation holds some truth, it’s important to recognise that the relationship between money, ego, and personal fulfilment is far more nuanced than it first appears.

At first glance, the idea of adopting a low-ego, high-humility approach to wealth-building might seem like the most logical path. The reasoning is simple: by curbing spending driven by ego and instead focusing on saving and investing, we can accelerate our journey toward financial independence. This approach, however, can sometimes feel overly simplistic. It suggests that ego is inherently detrimental to financial success and overlooks the complex ways in which our values, purpose, and sense of fulfilment intersect with our spending choices.

For many, spending isn’t merely about satisfying an inflated sense of self-worth. It’s deeply intertwined with values, purpose, and the pursuit of personal fulfilment. Consider, for example, someone who chooses to invest in high-quality experiences or products—not to showcase their wealth, but because these choices align with their core values or bring them a deep sense of joy and meaning. In such cases, spending is not just about ego; it’s about living in alignment with what truly matters to them.

This brings us to the essential concept of balance. Financial independence isn’t just about cutting expenses to the bone or maximising wealth accumulation. It’s about ensuring that our financial decisions reflect both our personal values and long-term goals. When our spending is aligned with what we value most, money becomes more than just a means to an end; it becomes a tool that helps us lead a life filled with purpose and fulfilment. It’s not about living frugally for the sake of frugality, but about making intentional choices that serve our deeper aspirations.

This balance is critical because it acknowledges that wealth and fulfilment are not mutually exclusive. It’s possible to spend on things that matter to us—whether it’s on quality, experiences, or passions—without compromising our long-term financial goals. This requires a strategic financial plan that accounts for these intentional choices, allowing us to enjoy the fruits of our labour while still securing our financial future.

Understanding the link between money and ego is part of a larger journey toward self-awareness and intentional living. It invites us to examine where ego may be driving our financial decisions and where our spending truly reflects what we value most. By doing this inner work, we can create a financial plan that doesn’t just aim for wealth accumulation but also for a life that feels rich in purpose and fulfilment. In this way, money serves its highest purpose—supporting a well-lived life with balance, intention, and clarity.

All behaviour is communication

Have you ever paused to consider what your behaviour might be saying about you… to you? It’s a fascinating thought, isn’t it? All behaviour is a form of communication. Every action we take, every choice we make, sends a message, not only to the world around us but also to ourselves.

In the realm of financial planning, this idea becomes particularly intriguing. What are our financial behaviours trying to tell us?

Think about it. When you splurge on an expensive item, what is that behaviour communicating? Perhaps it’s a statement about your desire for status, or maybe it’s about seeking comfort in material things during stressful times, or perhaps it’s your ability to reward yourself and invest in self-care.

When you diligently save a portion of your income each month, what message does that send? It could be a testament to your commitment to future security or a reflection of your values around financial responsibility.

In many ways, our financial behaviours are deeply tied to our identities, our fears, and our dreams. They reveal what we value, what we aspire to, and what we are afraid of. By paying attention to these behaviours, we can gain profound insights into ourselves and use that understanding to shape a more fulfilling financial future.

Take, for example, the act of budgeting. On the surface, it might seem like a dry, technical task—allocating numbers into categories. But look a little deeper, and you’ll see that budgeting is a powerful form of self-communication. It’s you telling yourself that your financial goals are important, that you are capable of managing your resources wisely, and that you have the discipline to follow through on your plans.

Or consider the behaviour of investing. Investing is more than just a strategy to grow your wealth. It’s a statement of faith in the future. It’s you saying, “I believe that my money can work for me, and I trust that the world will continue to provide opportunities for growth.” This behaviour communicates optimism, courage, and a proactive mindset.

Even the way we handle financial setbacks speaks volumes. When faced with an unexpected expense or a market downturn, our reactions can reveal our resilience, our ability to adapt, and our level of emotional intelligence. Do we panic and make impulsive decisions, or do we stay calm and think strategically about our next steps? Each response is a form of communication that reflects our inner strength and our capacity for growth.

The beauty of recognising that all behaviour is communication is that it empowers us to change. We can rewrite the script once we understand the messages our financial behaviours are sending. If we notice that our spending habits communicate a need for emotional comfort, we can find healthier ways to address that need. If we see that our reluctance to save is rooted in a fear of scarcity, we can work on cultivating a mindset of abundance and security.

In this journey of self-discovery and growth, it’s important to remember that we don’t have to do it alone. Just as our behaviours communicate messages to ourselves, they also communicate to those around us—our family, our friends, our financial advisors. By sharing our insights and working together, we can support each other in making positive changes and achieving our financial goals.

Problems that seem simple at first

Life’s a bit of a puzzle, isn’t it? We look at our problems and think, “Oh, that’s straightforward enough.” But then we start digging, and suddenly we’re in a whole different ballgame. It’s like peeling an onion – layer after layer, each revealing something new. And you know what? There’s a reason for all this complexity – and it’s not just to bring tears to our eyes… 

Most of the time, the issues we’re facing are just the tip of the iceberg, hinting at bigger stuff going on beneath the surface. It’s all connected – our physical health, our state of mind, our spiritual well-being, and how we relate to others. It’s a big, interconnected web, and each thread tells a story.

Remember that scene in Shrek where Shrek tells Donkey that ogres are like onions because they have layers? Well, our problems are a lot like that. On the surface, they seem simple, much like Shrek and Donkey’s initial plan to have the squatters removed from Shrek’s land by Lord Farquaad. They thought it would be a quick, straightforward trip. But as their journey unfolds, it turns into a grand adventure with unexpected twists and deeper revelations.

Similarly, as we peel back each layer of our problems, we discover more about ourselves and the underlying issues at play. This complexity isn’t just a hassle; it’s a clue to understanding the bigger picture of our lives. Just like Shrek and Donkey’s journey, our path might be longer and more intricate than we initially thought, but each layer we uncover brings us closer to true understanding and resolution.

Imagine you have a financial issue that initially appears straightforward, like an unexpected expense. At first glance, it’s a matter of finding the money to cover it. But as you delve deeper, you might uncover layers of underlying concerns: stress about financial stability, feelings of inadequacy, or even relationship tensions stemming from money management.

When we acknowledge these deeper connections, the landscape of our problems shifts, they are no longer isolated incidents but part of a larger, intricate web of our lives. This realisation can be overwhelming, but it also opens up a pathway to true understanding and growth.

So, the philosophical question remains: How do we begin to unwrap the deeper layers? The answer lies in being aware that our problems are interconnected threads woven into our broader life story. By engaging in open, honest conversations with those we trust, we gain the strength and clarity to address these issues holistically.

Having people to talk to when we face problems is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to our relational strength. It’s an acknowledgment that we don’t have to navigate this complex maze alone. Speaking to a trusted partner, friend, or advisor provides us with new perspectives and shared wisdom, illuminating aspects of the problem we might have missed.

Carl Richards often illustrates complex financial concepts with simple sketches, reminding us that clarity often emerges from simplicity. In the same vein, reaching out for help can simplify the complexities we face, breaking them down into manageable steps.

Don’t be afraid to tap into your support network. Speak to a trusted partner, friend, or advisor. Their insights can help you untangle the complexities and guide you toward meaningful solutions. Remember, it’s through these connections and the commitment to diving deeper that we find more meaning and experience fulfillment.

The art of switching off

What if the key to unlocking a richer, more fulfilling life lies not in doing more, but in doing less? In our hyper-connected world, where the lines between work and personal life are increasingly blurred, this question has never been more relevant.

The older we get, the more we see and learn how burnout can impact not just our emotional well-being, but our relationships and finances too. The constant pressure to be “on” can lead to poor decision-making, strained personal connections, and even financial missteps.

But here’s the good news: creating an intentional switch-off routine can be a game-changer. Just as we carefully plan our financial strategies, we need to design our daily routines with equal thoughtfulness.

Imagine ending our workday with a ritual that clearly signals to our brains that it’s time to shift gears. It could be as simple as playing a specific song, changing our shoes, or taking a few minutes to meditate. The key is consistency – making it a habit that sticks.

This isn’t just about work-life balance; it’s about life-wealth balance. When we’re constantly in work mode, we’re more likely to make impulsive financial decisions, overlook important personal relationships, and neglect self-care. All of these can have a significant impact on our overall financial well-being.

Consider this: How often have we made unnecessary purchases because we were too stressed or tired to think clearly? How many times have we missed out on quality time with loved ones because we were mentally still at work? These seemingly small moments add up, affecting both our emotional and financial health.

By creating a clear boundary between work and personal time, we give ourselves the space to recharge, reconnect with our values, and make more mindful decisions – financial and otherwise.

Remember the wise words of Anne Lamott: “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”

So, let’s circle back to our original question: What if the key to a richer life is in doing less? After exploring the benefits of intentional unplugging, we believe the answer is a resounding yes. By giving ourselves permission to switch off, we’re not just avoiding burnout – we’re investing in our overall well-being, our relationships, and ultimately, our financial future.

Our wealth isn’t just about the numbers in our bank accounts. It’s about creating lives rich in experiences, relationships, and personal fulfilment. And sometimes, the best way to grow that wealth is to simply unplug.

Pause before you pay (part II)

ENHANCING FINANCIAL WISDOM: FROM PRICE COMPARISON TO SPENDING AWARENESS

The simple act of pausing before making a financial commitment can transform your budget and savings strategy, echoing the thoughtful approach advocated by Benjamin Franklin: “Beware of little expenses; a small leak will sink a great ship.”

Taking a moment to think before you buy significantly encourages better spending decisions. This brief pause allows you the opportunity to conduct a quick search for better prices or alternative products. It could mean checking other retailers for a better deal or waiting for a sale period to make the purchase. 

This approach not only saves money but ensures you are making the best possible decision with your financial resources. By not rushing into a purchase, you give yourself the chance to explore all available options and potentially find a more cost-effective solution.

Regular pauses also heighten your consciousness about where your money is going. This increased awareness can reveal patterns in your spending, such as frequent indulgences in luxury items or unnecessary gadgets. Recognising these patterns allows you to adjust your spending habits to better fit your financial goals, ensuring that your money is spent in ways that truly matter to you. 

By understanding where your money frequently goes, you can identify areas where you might be overspending and make the necessary adjustments to align your expenditures with your financial objectives.

Moreover, taking a moment to reflect before spending promotes a more mindful relationship with money. 

Understanding the flow of your finances and recognising the impact of each transaction encourages a more measured and deliberate approach to consumption. As Maya Angelou eloquently put it, “I’ve learned that making a ‘living’ is not the same thing as ‘making a life.'” This insight underscores the importance of thoughtful spending, where each decision is made with consideration and intent. When you pause to consider a purchase, you are not only thinking about the immediate satisfaction but also how it fits into your broader life goals and values.

Incorporating these practices into your daily life not only improves your immediate financial situation but also sets a foundation for long-term financial health and wisdom. By pausing before each purchase, you ensure that your financial decisions are thoughtful, deliberate, and aligned with your ultimate life goals.

This mindful approach to spending helps build a more secure and fulfilling financial future. Each pause is a step towards financial prudence, reinforcing a disciplined approach that can lead to greater financial stability and peace of mind.

The Truth Fairy

Once upon a time, in a land not so far away, there lived a magical creature known as the Retirement Fairy. This benevolent being was said to wave its wand and miraculously transform meagre savings into bountiful nest eggs, rescuing procrastinators and under-savers from financial distress in their golden years.

It’s a comforting tale, isn’t it? Unfortunately, like most fairy tales, it’s just that – a story. Yet, surprisingly, many adults seem to believe in this financial folklore more fervently than children believe in the Tooth Fairy.

Enter the Truth Fairy, with a reality check – a truth bomb, if you will. The Truth Fairy doesn’t deal in fantasies but in the hard, undeniable facts about achieving financial independence. The truth is, there are no magical solutions or shortcuts when it comes to securing your financial future. It requires consistent effort, wise planning, and sometimes making tough choices.

On top of this, traditional understandings of retirement have changed. Financial independence is attainable, but it demands proactive, informed decision-making and a commitment to saving and investing wisely. So, let’s shatter the myth of the Retirement Fairy and embrace the truth. Let’s face the truth and take control of our financial destinies.

The truth is, starting to invest early is EVERYTHING when it comes to securing a comfortable retirement. The power of compound interest – often called the eighth wonder of the world – works its magic over decades, not months or years. Waiting until you’re 40 or older to start seriously saving for retirement is like showing up to a marathon when it’s almost over and expecting to win.

But here’s the good news: You don’t need a fairy to create a secure financial future. You have something far more powerful – yourself. You are the architect of your own destiny, and with the right knowledge, tools, and mindset, you can build a financially independent future that’s not just comfortable, but truly fulfilling.

Here are some steps to start taking control of your financial future today:

  1. Start now, no matter your age. The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.
  1. Educate yourself about personal finance. Knowledge is power when it comes to managing your money.
  1. Create a budget and stick to it. Understanding your cash flow is crucial for effective saving and investing.
  1. Maximise your retirement savings. Take full advantage of any tax-advantaged retirement savings options available in your country.
  1. Diversify your investments. Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.
  1. Regularly review and adjust your financial plan. Your needs and goals will change over time, and your plan should reflect that.
  1. Seek professional advice. A financial planner can provide valuable guidance tailored to your specific situation.

Remember, building a secure financial future isn’t about waiting for a magical solution. It’s about making consistent, informed decisions over time. It’s about understanding that small actions today can have a significant impact on your future.

So, let’s put the Retirement Fairy tale to bed once and for all. Instead of waiting for a mythical being to solve your financial challenges, embrace your role as the hero of your own financial story. Be proactive, be informed, and be consistent. Your future self will thank you for it.

After all, the only real magic in personal finance is the power of compound interest combined with time and discipline. And that’s a kind of magic we can all believe in.

Pause before you pay (part I)

THE ART OF MINDFUL SPENDING: HOW TO COMBAT IMPULSE BUYING

In the rush of daily life, the urge to make spontaneous purchases can be compelling. Yet, giving in to this impulse often leads to clutter, not just in our homes but in our financial lives as well. 

Warren Buffett wisely advised, “If you buy things you do not need, soon you will have to sell things you need.” This caution speaks volumes about the value of pausing before making a purchase.

Preventing Impulse Buys

The first benefit of taking a moment before reaching for your wallet is the opportunity to question the necessity of a purchase. Is this item something you’ve been planning to buy, or is it just a momentary desire triggered by clever marketing or fleeting emotions? Stopping to reflect can help you avoid the quick thrill of impulse buying, which often fades into regret.

Alignment with Financial Goals

Every purchase or investment you make has the potential to either advance or detract from your financial goals. This makes pausing before a purchase not just prudent, but essential. 

Ask yourself: Does this purchase align with my long-term aspirations? For instance, if your goal is to travel more, weigh the immediate satisfaction of a new outfit against the enduring memories and pleasure of a future trip. 

Beyond typical savings, consider diverse investment avenues as well. Investing in stocks might offer potential returns and liquidity, but alternative investments like art could align with personal passions and provide aesthetic enjoyment while still appreciating in value over time. 

As Oprah Winfrey insightfully remarked, “Do the one thing you think you cannot do. Fail at it. Try again. Do better the second time.” This philosophy encourages not just thoughtful spending but also daring and diversifying your investment choices, pushing you to explore options beyond the conventional, thereby broadening your financial horizon and potentially enriching your personal and financial growth.

Reduces Buyer’s Remorse

Nothing is more frustrating than purchasing something only to realise it wasn’t necessary, or it doesn’t bring the joy you expected. By pausing, you give yourself the chance to really think about how much you’ll use the item and whether it’s worth the cost. This mindfulness can significantly decrease the likelihood of buyer’s remorse.

By adopting a mindful approach to spending, not only do you save money, but you also ensure that your purchases bring real value and joy into your life. This practice of pausing helps cultivate a deeper understanding of your financial habits and fosters a more intentional lifestyle.